Dowry: A Misunderstood Tradition Turned into a Social Evil

Dowry was a commendable custom in the past that embodied love, care, and responsibility instead of greed. In the past, parents willingly presented gifts, jewelry, and assets to daughters as a symbol of love and financial protection. This allowed a woman to be self-sufficient and well regarded in her new family. Over time, the original meaning of dowry was lost. Greedy minds made this lovely practice a social bane, seeking money instead of appreciating relationships. As a result, what started as an act of kindness became a cause of anguish and injustice. Furthermore, society began to blame the whole system rather than recognizing the mentality that tainted it. Hence, understanding the original intent of dowry is essential in reclaiming its dignity and equilibrium. If properly taught, it can once again represent harmony, responsibility, and equality instead of oppression and exploitation.

The Dowry System: An Ancient Tradition with a Chivalrous Origin

The dowry system, commonly considered today to be a social vice, was actually a lovely and significant tradition once.

In the past, it represented love, concern, and the good wishes of the bride’s family as they set their daughter up for a new chapter in life.

But over time, the bounteous tradition took a hit and became a societal burden. To learn about its origin, we need to turn back the pages of time.

A Sign of Blessing and Support

Initially, the dowry was not greed or status but blessings and security.

The bride’s family would arrive at the groom’s home almost fifteen days prior to the wedding.

Throughout this period, they exchanged joy, smiles, and love in the form of kind gifts.

These gifts—such as an almirah, utensils, a wristwatch, or apparel—were not requests but goodwill gestures.

What’s more, they reflected the backing of the family as the couple embarked on their new life.

Golden Ornaments: Father’s Gift of Security

In traditional families, the bridegroom’s father had a unique role.

He gave golden ornaments to his daughter—not as a symbol of wealth, but in order to secure her financially.

In the event of an untoward incident or adversity, these ornaments acted like a safety deposit.

The system, therefore, was once a reflection of a father’s prudence and love rather than societal pressure.

Transformation into a Social Evil

Over time, though, the connotation of dowry shifted.

With modernization and growing social competition, an act of love that initially was a voluntary act became a coercive duty.

Expectations ran high, demands mounted, and the mechanism that originally represented care gave rise to anguish.

Textbooks appropriately refer to it as a social evil now because it incites gender disparity, economic burden, and emotional distress.

Rediscovering the Original Spirit

Despite its abuse, the original spirit of the dowry system had values that are worth recalling—love, care, and responsibility.

If society can disconnect the goodness of giving from the greed of demanding, this tradition could once more become an expression of love rather than

oppression.

A Reflection of Gender Disparities in Education

With time, the dowry system came to reveal a more profound social weakness—gender disparity in education and empowerment.

Fathers in many families regarded daughters as temporary residents of the family, who would leave with their husbands upon marriage.

Consequently, they tended to shun expending money on daughters’ education, finding it more important to save for their dowry.

This led to a cycle where women were economically dependent and socially devalued.

Rather than equipping their daughters with education and skills, parents spent money on material presents for the groom’s family to gain their approval.

As a result, dowry was no longer a tradition but a cost incurred for not investing in education and autonomy.

If families had used the same amount of money to educate their daughters, they would have enhanced their self-confidence, dignity, and social status.

Hence, the continuance of dowry systems largely indicates the inability to acknowledge education as the real dowry a father can bestow on his daughter.

The Bride’s Father and His Role in Perpetuating Dowry

The system of dowry, while frequently blamed on society as a whole, largely persists due to the attitude of the bride’s own family—particularly the father.

Historically, most fathers felt that it was their obligation to provide gifts or money to the bridegroom’s family as a sign of respect and appreciation.

In time, this feeling of obligation became a societal compulsion.

Even if no one asked for it directly, the bridegroom’s father usually felt compelled to provide dowry to ensure that his family’s honor and social standing

remained intact.

In addition, rather than investing in his daughter’s career or education, the father invested in accumulating money and commodities for her marriage.

Not only did this undermine the independence of the daughter but also reinforced the institution of dowry.

In most situations, fathers themselves inadvertently encouraged the system by accepting it as a social norm and not questioning it.

So, the father of the bride indirectly contributes to perpetuating dowry—not for malicious reasons, but due to fear, tradition, and societal pressure.

Real change will be possible only when fathers begin gifting their daughters education, liberty, and confidence rather than dowry.

Conclusion: Bringing Back the Lost Spirit of an Excellent System

The dowry system in its very original form was a great and considerate practice.

It represented love, affection, and blessings from the bride’s family as their daughter started a new phase of life.

But over time, ignoring education and abilities of daughters transformed the whole concept of this practice.

When families did not empower their daughters through knowledge and autonomy, the groom’s father got the best of them, making a noble tradition a

chance for demand and hegemony.

Therefore, the failure of the dowry system is not in its inception but in the attitude that undervalued the education and independence of women.

If all fathers concentrate on educating the daughter instead of amassing fortunes for her dowry, the necessity of the dowry will disappear naturally.

Real progress starts when parents understand that education and not wealth is the most valuable dowry a daughter can bring into her new home.